Comments on: Handling Guilt from Mistakes and Punishment

By: Melen's Rayne

Melen's Rayne — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 19:52:21 +0000

I wanted to thank you for this post, Luna. I’m known to beat myself up. I’m still doing it. And maybe, for a little while, I should feel bad, but with this post, I’m betting I’ll have an easier time letting go.

By: pet

pet — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 21:14:24 +0000

This is a very, very good article. when i mess up, i beat myself up badly. Sir has corrected and forgiven me, and im still clinging to my guilt. but im getting better in letting it go.

By: tye

tye — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 03:46:30 +0000

I wish to thank you for posting this topic.

Recently I have had a reason to feel guilty and have not been able to push past it, because He removed the consideration collar and although He is still mentoring me, I hate that I messed up so badly that He removed the consideration collar, leaving the mentoring one in place.

Thank you for giving me food for thought and a way to help deal with this guilt that I am having over this problem.

well wishes,

tye

By: lunaKM

lunaKM — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:43:52 +0000

Thank you! You gave me an idea to post about carte blanche and repeat patterns in behavior. I’ll have to put that in my ideas list.

I agree that for many they consider forgiveness to mean they can go do it again, and it is possible they do it for reasons to be punished if they haven’t learned how to ask for things they desire.

Acting out is never a good way to go and with transparency a submissive will learn to correct themselves before it becomes a habitual offense.

Thanks for your input! I really appreciate it.

By: Constance

Constance — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 15:43:12 +0000

I agree with what you say here, but I would also add that being punished and then forgiven is NOT carte blanche to go out and do the same thing all over again. You didn't suggest it was, of course, but that attitude is rampant. That's part of the appeal of Catholicism for some people! 'I mess up, I say I'm sorry, I do my Hail Marys, and I'm good to go!' Guilt can serve a purpose, which is to prevent us from repeating the behavior, so when we eliminate the guilt, we need to be sure that we replace it with other things that prevent us from acting the same way again. Fear works for some of us (fear of a another, harsher punsishment) for example. For me, understanding the implications is, in my opinion, by far the best. We use a lot of dialogue and cornertime, because it gives us an opportunity to really talk about why my actions are damaging, and it gives me time to think.Constance’s recent blog post..Things I Don't Understand....