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7 Things You Can Do Today to Impove Your Submission
April 17, 2009 by lunaKM [6,628 views]
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A question I see asked all the time is “how can I be a better submissive?” Here are a few things you can do to make your submission and service better without a lot of work.
1. Move with purpose. If you have been asked to fetch something or approach your Dominant, be precise in your moments, allow your natural grace out. You can be fast and still be beautiful to watch. Be mindful of your moments, remove the fidgeting, check your posture and enhance your natural body movements. If you naturally sway, make it slow and sultry. If you have a dance in your step, don’t try to force it out.
2. Think before you speak. Filling your speech with ums and ahs is not only annoying but a sign of disorder. Show your Dominant that you appreciate the ability to speak or that you care about how you sound by making sure you know what you want to say before you say it. If you don’t know what to say, express that you need a moment to collect your thoughts, your Dominant should appreciate your attention and care to being open and honest about your preparedness for the conversation.
3. Enhance a basic service. I use the coffee service a lot around here, but it really does help to explain a lot of different things. I have taken the basic serve of his coffee and added a piece to it that he appreciates. I announce his coffee when I arrive with it. I place it where he requires it and say, ‘Your coffee Master.’ Something as simple as slowing your steps like you see in a Japanese Tea Ceremony can be an enhancement that improves your submission.
4. Learn a new skill. There is never a moment that a submissive should stop learning. Picking up talents and skills to better please your Dominant should be one of your basic tasks. This can be cooking a special recipe, a sexual technique or playing chess.
5. Meditate on your submission. Take a time out and think about your submission. Reflect on the day or week and think about things that went well or didn’t go well. Find ways you can improve yourself or your submission while relaxing. Develop a mantra to say during your meditation if you wish.
6. Kneel or sit at his/her feet when they are busy. Sometimes just being there when they didn’t expect you to be can be a great way to express your submission to them. Appearing at their feet without any expectation of anything from them can provide comfort and pride and help you with your feelings of submission.
7. Ask for advice from other senior submissives. Your best fountain of information are submissives that have been where you are. Permission to talk to other submissives is nice to have so that you have a support system in place and you will never stop learning and growing.
8, 9, 10? Do you have ideas of what I could put here to make it 10 Things? 20 Things? If you have ideas, I’d love it if you could share them.
photo credit by c.a. muller
11 Comments
Filed under Defining Submission
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Be Flexible – Mentally and Physically. Mentally: If your Dominant wants you to drop what you are doing and do something else or changes plans…be accommodating, don’t be rigid. Be open to change, trying new experiences, and open to new ideas. This is a learned skill just like any other. And work on your physical flexibility with stretching. Not only can it help with bondage (if you practice such), and sex, but is also very important for good health.
Learn new words and how to use them.
If your Top has a hobby or a fav. sport learn all you can about that and be willing to help or cheer.
being able to truly listen. you can pick up on little nuances that way.
Thanks for sharing this list, it really is encouraging me to be the best submissive I can to my Master. BlushRedTail also gives really good advice.
Kharis´s last blog ..Delving Deeper: Moving Past 101
I have never been obedient to another man. In fact I have been in charge most of my life professionally. I’m clueless where to begin. Maybe you have an idea?
Obedient One, i see myself also as a very strong woman, yet i am a collared slave. i have chosen to surrender to one and one only. that is the one thing that Master loves about me; that i am strong, have my own opinions; but use it at the proper times. i donot submit to every person who calls him or herself a Dominant. i maybe courteous, but not submissive. you can attend local munches and ask questions. and also do a lot of reading.
I know I have much to work on as a slave (it’s hard, being in the business world), but how do I tell my Master that he’s not doing enough? How do I tell him I feel like I’m drifting? How do I tell him that I need more structure? There are very few people where I live who even have an inkling of what a relationship like ours is like, so I don’t have anyone local to talk with about it. I came across this blog and…well…would like to hear some thoughts.
You sit him down and tell him you feel like you are drifting. Part of a D/s dynamic is the fact we have such open communication. So tell him you want more structure and that you don’t feel submissive enough. I’m sure the two of you can work out how to kick up your dynamic a bit more.
I did that the other night, though not calmly…bleh. It at least opened the door. There’s this list on dallasbdsm.com that’s called “101 Ways to Make Your Slave Feel Loved (Owned)” that I’m going to give him. It may seem silly to some of you, if you’ve ever seen it, but there are some valid (in my opinion) things on there that he could do. It would probably help me communicate my thoughts better, too, if I sat down and wrote him a letter. I think we’re just struggling with hectic lives and today’s questionable economics (we’ve had some difficulties). However, we are now empty-nesters, so that will help us in the privacy department.