Your First Munch

This week’s video tip is about what to expect at your first munch.

So you are ready to venture into the great wide expanse of public life and meet people face to face. That’s great! A munch is a safe and fun environment to do that in. A munch is a meet and greet of kinky folks in a public to semi-private space where you can get to know people, talk and ask questions and just enjoy feeling good about who you are without having to hide anything.

Most munch groups hold their munches on a monthly basis in a restaurant or club. This way new people feel less intimidated because they are going to a public place. Other munch groups feel that a private setting is more comfortable and offer a member’s home as the munch location. In any venue you should try to feel comfortable and relaxed.

Munch groups usually have a dress code. No obvious fetish attire. The reason for this is common sense. They don’t want to bring attention to themselves. It’s a safety measure for you too. The less attention the group has, the less questions will be asked about the meeting from outsiders. Dress as you would going out with a group of friends. There is no reason to overdress. Be yourself.

Try to get to know someone. Usually the munch coordinator or leader of the group will try to introduce themselves. If this doesn’t happen within the first 15-20 mins, feel free just saying hi to whomever is nearby. Even if you are shy this could help break the ice and identify yourself as someone who wants to get to know people. Lurkers happen, but generally not for very long.

Some groups have a protocol in place for munches. Generally this is relaxed but the following rules are usually best:

1. Don’t touch. You may offer your hand for handshakes but leave the hugs for those that know each other really well. I’ve been to several groups where hugs from known members is common. If you are new, don’t initiate hugs.
2. Watch boundaries. Some couples are in their element and may not welcome contact within their space. This is especially true to Dominant/submissive couples. As a common courtesy, ask the Dominant if you can speak to the submissive, or wait to see if the submissive initiates conversation to know what is welcome. If in doubt, ask.
3. Munches are not pick up joints. Don’t try to set yourself out there as available and looking unless this is mentioned by the leaders that it is okay. The premise of a munch is socialization, not hook ups.

Lastly, enjoy yourself. You are at a munch to relax and enjoy being who you are. Let it flow. Laugh, chat, listen and learn. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Filed under BDSM Basics, Video Posts
Tags: BDSM, boundaries, chat, comfort, common sense, community, Dom, dominant, dress, friends, hands, help, kinky, munch, munches, protocol, questions, rt, rules, safe, Safety, submissive, support, value, wants

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