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Mapping Out Your Ideal Submission
March 18, 2009 by lunaKM [5,835 views]
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Continuing the work on your training resume, I’d like to talk about mapping out how you dream of your submission being. This is a discussion of ideals and dreams. You can be as fanciful as you want right now, we will narrow things down as we go along. There are 3 things I’d like to focus on in this post. What your ideal relationship is, the structure you’d like to have and the level of protocol you dream of having. This works for kinky bedroom relationships and also full time dynamics.
Get out pen and paper because what we are going to do is make a map of our ideal relationship. If you have ever made a mind map, you know what are about to do; if not, below are some links to information about mind maps. A mind map is a colorful whole brain approach to taking notes and putting together thoughts and common ideas.
- How to make a Mind Map
- Mind Maps: A Powerful Approach to Note-Taking
- How to Mind Map
- Learning Skills: Mind Mapping
An excellent free online tool for mind mapping can be found at MindMeister.com
Ideal Relationship
Your first mind map should be about your ideal relationship and what you are looking for in a partner. As with all mind maps, the very center should be an image or central thought. Let’s put your partner there. Branching from that you can put physical features that attract you, activities you enjoy, emotional attachment levels and future desires for children, income, housing and other future wants and needs. Don’t leave anything out.
Structure
The second mind map is about the structure of your D/s dynamic. Do you want monogamy or poly-relations? Are you looking to be a pet, or perhaps a service submissive? Is Internal slavery your desire? How strict should the person be? Does punishment and discipline for rule violations intrigue you? How frequently do you want to play?
This is just a jumping off point, you can expand and explore everything you are looking for in the D/s part of your relationship.
Protocol
This mind map will probably be the most difficult. In this mind map, I’d like you to think about example rules and routine you’d like to develop. Think about how you’d like to act, what you dream about doing or saying in specific moments of your day or relationship. Do you like Gorean living? Perhaps a tiered system of a poly household? Dream up your rules and rituals that you may want to explore.
When you have completed your mind maps they should help you see how your dreams and future goals go together, how your ideal relationship is planned out in your mind and is now on paper. You can use this to help you communicate to your partner or when looking for that special person. Keep it in your training resume binder.
Building your Training Resume
- Beginning Your Training Resume
- Recording Your Training History
- Recording Your Completed Training
- Mapping Out Your Ideal Submission
- The BDSM Checklist that will Really Help You
- Add Your Reading List
- Add Cons, Classes and Events
photo credit by harpreet thinking
3 Comments
Filed under Defining Submission, Relationships, Training Resume
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in a way the mapping is a kind of visualization-affirmation where the person tries to attract subliminally his or her partner. I realize that the more clear the picture the better. On the other side may be when this mapping is too solid
it becomes too inflexible. I believe that certainly when we design what we are looking for, we send waves to likeminded people through the subconscious space.
“submission” is a very generic concept. People most of the time think that they know who they are and what they want and they can bet on that.In reality we think that we know, and even if do know, we change in the process. We discover about ourselves not by thinking but by experiencing. Someone may think that s/he desires to be a slave, soon to discover that s/he is for partial play or service-only or just BDSM. Others start dominant and end up slaves. There are many surprises for ourselves as we discover ourselves. The lifestyle is one path to learn about others and oursleves and has many surprises along the way. So unless if we plunge in actual “lifestyle” we never know. So mapping is good but also we have to be open to the fact that, what we were visualizing and desired a year ago, may be manifests this year in our life but we no longer look for this person.