why? because, well. people change! what may have been perfect for your dominant three years ago may change. you have to re-train for that activity or preference. circumstances change. you may have to rethink appropriateness or viability. your owner my decide something is less “worth it” than other things, and so priorities switch around.

viewing “training” in a vanilla sense is a great downfall to submissives, because i think it creates a sense of both achievement of level (when there is none) and an inflexibility that will never facilitate a true understanding of the services needed. things change. service shifts. submission becomes harder, or easier.

training isn’t final. it’s never-ending. and if someone tells me (upon contacting me as a domina, which i also am) “i’ve been trained” my first response is, “not to me, you haven’t.” i don’t want ANYONE to come into a relationship with ME thinking that what they learned in a previous relationship makes them more desirable, or that what they learned is even going to be preferable! and i certainly don’t want anyone thinking that prior “training” is required for them to be a perfectly good submissive or serviceperson. a

frequently, that prior “training” may have to be UN-trained for them to serve me in the ways i prefer, which can sometimes be difficult if they have been led to believe that one way is the “proper” way, or that they have been “trained in the art of….” whatever thing. they may feel unsure, they may feel misled, or even as if i am setting them up to fail, because they CLEARLY aren’t doing it the right way! they KNOW the right way, right?

as i said in that post, sometimes, previous training can become synonymous with another relationship word: BAGGAGE.

Master’s ~melly,
Syr David’s slave