Communication is one of the key elements that make a D/s relationship strong. Without good communication your relationship is destined to fail. While talking face to face may be the best way to communicate, sometimes this just isn’t possible. A submissive can be a novice, shy, embarrassed, or intimidated. With the age of the internet, distance can also be a roadblock in good communication. Dominants have to use tools to help the submissive communicate and grow.
One of the tools that Dominants can use for communication is journaling. Keeping a journal has really grown and flourished online, but long before the internet submissives kept paper journals. Now many of the journals exist online as blogs. A blog is an online journal. It’s still not unlikely now to have a paper journal and a blog. I have a blog for my everyday writing and a paper journal for the really private stuff that even Master doesn’t want to see. That one is rarely written in, but it is there if I need it.
Starting a Journal
If you are asked to or decide to start a journal of your own you should decide what sort of content you want to have in it. Many submissives record their play and sexual encounters as a part of their blog. I try to reflect on my day as a submissive and delve deep within to find out why I acted a certain way or where I can work on something related to my submission. Whatever you decide your voice may be, stay true to it. This journal, whether paper or online, is a part of you. Be honest with yourself, open-minded and introspective.
There are several blog hosting services that can allow you to have a public or private blog. They provide different looks and themes, options and features to make your blog whatever you’d like it to be.
[note]As of the time I posted this article these are the most well known blog hosting services.
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There are several reasons why you would want to start up a blog or journal. They can be very personal or have every opportunity to be open with others. Perhaps you need advice or exposure to help you through your journey. The following methods can help you get your feet off the ground.
Journaling for Development
When I started my blog, and the main focus now, is to journal as I develop as my Master’s submissive. I try to detail my thoughts and feelings and get to the bottom of it. I tend to try to over-analyze and take a very introspective view of myself. I am overly critical but it does help me see where things are and where they may be going.
Your goal for journaling may be similar. Do you want to document your learning and growth as a submissive? Does it make you feel good to know that you have come from A to B and are better for it? Development journaling may be for you.
Take an introspective view of what you did today and how you behaved. Were there things that you feel enhanced your submission? Was there anything you’d like to work on? What about ideas for further development you’d like to look into?
Journaling for Punishment
Generally this option isn’t one you take on yourself, but is asked of you by your Dominant partner. Blogs or journals that document a submissive’s punishment and atonement for infractions can be interesting reading if done correctly. Again, it would be beneficial for you to write introspectively about the punishment, the ‘crime’ and the way you feel now that the punishment is over. Perhaps even writing about how you will improve your submission can give you a lot to learn from.
Sex Blogging
There really is an art to writing about sex, but to attract people to your form or journaling you need to write explicitly and often. A good sex blogger will not only tell the story but encourage readers to want for more. This is one of the most commercialized options, but if you are in for the long haul and can write well, this might be an option for you to explore.
Preserving Your Voice
In all that I’ve written here I’d like to remind your to keep your voice. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t (unless you are in a character blog). It is expected that when you journal you are telling the truth. Several bloggers that I used to follow, were shunned when it was found out that their blogs were faked and it was just a fiction blog. If you are going to write fiction, make sure your readers know that.
Your voice, the way you write and what you write about is important to you, and possibly to readers if you share your blog with the world. No matter if your blog is private, if you are honest with your feelings and emotions then it can be used by you or a Dominant partner to the best of both. Make the journal your own. Let it strengthen you. Keep it true to you.
Other Submissives’ Thoughts on Journaling
The Power Within Journaling – Life on the Razor’s Edge
photo credit Bob AuBuchon
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My name is lunaKM and I’m a full-time submissive in a D/s relationship. I am webslut to 
Thank You I did not think of useing a blog as a guide for my lesson in submission. Now I have another reason to blog.An it will help me keep a better record of event in my relationship.
[...] October 18, 2009 at 10:48 PM (Meanderings) The Power of Journaling (via The Submissive Guide) [...]
Thank you for this really excellent post. I tend to be an introspective type, but sometimes really like the discipline that a journal provides. It also doesn’t seem to be that important to my Master, so that doesn’t help. After reading this post, I am more motivated to do it for ME.
just found this post when searching online for advice on submissive journals. i have just started a private blog for My Master. Because we can’t see each other every day, it is as much a space for Him to see my daily devotion to Him as it is a space for me to pour out my thoughts. i am a thinker and i do tend to analyse every thought and feeling so i think the journal will halp me to process developments in our relationship.
But – i have one huge stumbling block. Being His submissive, with my own desires and opinions not really part of the equation, i stuggle with a kind of blog censorship! When we are together i always ask if i may speak freely if i have anything particular i want to get off my chest and He usually grants this. So with the blog i really do not want to come accross as whingey or manipulative to Him but if it is to work it has to be a space where i can always speak freely. When i read other submissive blogs i can usually tell which ones are written specificallg for a Master to read and which ones are more general submissive musings – and the latter are far more REAL to me.
I would be gratreful for your thoughts on this.