Comments on: Caring for Yourself After a Scene: Self-Aftercare

By: julia

julia — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 17:45:37 +0000

Hi again and thank you so much for the kind words. I have done a lot of thinking, research and some talking with my Sir about this. He assured me that my feelings were normal, and that made me feel so much better just with that knowledge!

I am expecting an intense scene with my Dom tonight and will remember your advice for the next few days. My Dom himself brought up aftercare for tonight so I am feeling more confident about those needs being addressed. I so love all these new and incredibly exciting – and sexy – experiences. I want to be able to take on the recovery (seems there should be a better word than recovery…is there one?) as positively as I look forward to the playing. I will be sure to remember to take care of myself as well – so many good ideas for that here.

Thank you again – this site is a great resource, Luna!

-julia

You bring up an intersting point when you say that Doms go through this sort of thing too!
julia´s last blog ..almost late

By: MV's esclave

MV's esclave — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 16:12:53 +0000

I love this article. After doing a search for information on subdrop and having to weed through the many articles of what the Dom should be doing it is very refreshing to read this one with tips on what the sub can do to help her/himself.

Along with many of the items above I also have a personal item from Master for when I go through sub drop. I actually have a full outfit of his old clothes…lol

MV’s esclave

By: lunaKM

lunaKM — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 02:45:13 +0000

julia,

Talking to your Dom about it is just like everything else. Let them know you have something you’d like to talk about outside of roles and just talk about it. Let them know how you are feeling a few days out from scene and figure out what might help you through it. It is not the Dom’s sole responsibility, as we need to take care of ourselves too; we know best after all, but he can help you. It may just require more assurance on his end that he enjoyed himself as much as you did. And trust me when I say that Dominant’s go through the exact same feelings sometimes.

By: julia

julia — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 02:22:22 +0000

Thank you for this article and these comments. I recently experienced my first scene and two days later was practically miserable about all the things that thrilled me when it was happening! The marks especially made me wonder what I has allowed to happen to me.

I now understand what it was and that helps a great deal.

How do you talk to your Dom about this? I am worried about doing so. Is it a Dom’s responsibility to help a submissive though this or are we on our own?

Thank you Dears…
julia´s last blog ..details

By: kinkylittlegirl

kinkylittlegirl — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 08:08:01 +0000

I never thought about putting together an aftercare kit for myself! That’s a great idea, though.
kinkylittlegirl´s last blog ..Dominants Coming Through on Their Word

By: lilcricket

lilcricket — Sat, 12 Dec 2009 02:46:41 +0000

definatley my favorite fleece blanket the one with horses onit and my teddy bear both a must have

By: endorphinhussy

endorphinhussy — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 09:06:09 +0000

The first time i experienced this was after an arranged play date at my local dungeon with a friend. It was a particularly good session, and afterwards i was very tired, so i napped there, then got up and left the dungeon. On the way home i stopped at the grocery store because i had been asked to bring cookies to the dungeon that evening (this was a big, all weekend event). i was in the grocery store, in tears because i was unable to make a decision regarding the *type* of cookies to bring. i haven’t ever really dropped like that since, but it was very stressful!

By: Mistress160

Mistress160 — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 07:34:10 +0000

This post on Emergency Self Aftercare might also help :)

http://bdsmforbeginners.blogspot.com/2007/12/bdsm-for-beginners-part-10-emergency.html

By: grace

grace — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 12:57:15 +0000

thank you for this information. i had subdrop and didn’t know what was happening, it was very scary for me now i know what happened and will be prepared next time.

By: sshirl

sshirl — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 03:02:47 +0000

my greatest appreciation to the writer of this article…though i had not heard the term, i certainly and intensely experience sub drop. It seems the more i enter subspace during scenes, the greater the sub drop afterward. Recently i realized that i experience it also in the aftermath of scenes which have to be suddenly canceled at the last moment, if the upcoming scene was complex and intense with a lot of pre-psychological prep.